Webmaster's Oath

Why are the big super-slick Internet-presence companies so obtuse about designing their Websites? They all want to have their fancy, sixteen million color logo at the top of the page, so that it locks up the viewer's browser while taking eight minutes to download. No wonder everyone goes surfing with their graphics turned off! After the viewer has gotten burned and been forced to abort a few transfers, s/he learns not to squander his/her connect time while the Sta-Puft man gets around to filling up the screen...

Wouldn't it be more thoughtful to treat the viewer with some courtesy, and to perceive of them as a wonderful person who's out there taking the time to look at a blatant display of corporate egoism (let the trumpets sound, let the people cheer, let the banners unfurl, for WE ARE HERE!)? Is it so hard to give those teeming masses huddled at their screens a scrap of content or a crust of something mildly interesting to read while they're waiting for the images to form below? Imagine what the W³ could be if everyone were treated with respect and care, and Website designers refrained from wasting anybody's time. Hallelujah!

Stop procrastinetting! Change your life, Webster, and take the pledge right along with the four of us:

See? It's our POLICY not to abuse you!"I swear that I will provide sufficient reading material at the top of my pages so that the unsuspecting Websurfer will be entertained long enough (even at fourteen-point-four) to allow any and all images (gif and lowly jpeg alike) to be absolutely and thoroughly downloaded.


Brothers and sisters,
you've been
Now you're a sworn Webmaster of your domain...

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